AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH! what am i fucking doing here? the same question over and over and over. i really am making movements towards a new life, but will i really fucking do it? or will i stay in this nothing life forever? i'm scared of either answer. i have no help, no encouragement, no support. i thought i might have it, but that was silly. i don't have anything, anyone. i need to do this completely on my own. one of the things that will suck the most - packing my books. and then part of me thinks - just leave the fuckers...you can get more. but honestly, how can i do that??? the books are a part of me. and then of course i ask the question.....who the hell am i???

it is neverending. fuck.

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