right. so here it is friday night and i should have something fun to write here. but no such luck. see, i'm married. where is the fun in that? my husband and i really used to get along pretty well. he used to listen to me and compliment me. well, that is all gone now. and yet, i still wait for it. why do i do this? because i'm pathetic, that's why. it has been six years that we have been married, and yet it still surprises me that he doesn't listen to me anymore. and i really, really don't want to talk anymore. what is the point? i am absolutely alone in this house. no one understands or cares about what i have to say. i keep thinking that someday i will know this and i will not try to talk here at all. so far, i have not learned this. why haven't i? is my head really that thick? from now on, i will only 'talk' here at diaryland. even if people don't read it won't be as bad as trying to talk at my house. so there.

went out tonight with my husband and a friend of ours. it was just nice to be out. later, we went to look at used cd's. i quite enjoyed this as i found a cd that i have been looking for for about four years! i'm listening to it right now. the band is brownie mary. the cd is that's me. i'm really enjoying it. also, we got holly cole, derek and the dominoes, and the northern exposure soundtrack. the n.e. soundtrack is a gift for my dad. i'm happy that i found it. it was only one dollar! hooray for used cd's! when we were leaving the city, i put my head out the window and enjoyed the smells and sights. it was really good for me. it was a beautiful night.

i really just wanted to let you know that lonelywife isn't just a name. it is me. this is my life. i am truthfully lonely. it is sometimes exhilarating, sometimes deathly, sometimes normal. i never know what to expect from it. but...it is me. i am completely alone.

thanks for reading. xoxo

<< >>