well, the shit didn't go down as badly as i thought. hooray! s dealt with the ice queen very well. the two oldest are home with us. they didn't go with her. she didn't like that, but what could she do? they are not little children and they should not have to go with her when they don't want to. the last time they were there, it was bad. they did not want to have to go through it all again. i actually admire their decisions. they are very perceptive and have a lot of grown-up thoughts about their time with their mom. they need to have a relationship with her, but she does not value what they think or say. i really hope she has not completely pushed them away.

i'm finally not sick anymore. the bronchitis is gone, and i'm breathing very well. finally. school begins on tuesday and i am so ready! we went to buy my books today. i need to go back to school. at least it is something that i can concentrate on. my brain has not been challenged at all during the last few weeks and i am at the end of my rope. drinking only curbs some of the feelings. not enough, believe me. i got to see dr. m today. that made me happy. he gave me a james marshall book. it's great! s met him finally. i don't know what he thought, but i really don't care. dr. m is awesome and i continue to learn from him. he understands my desire to become a teacher and he encourages me. i really need that, especially at this stage of my education. these are my last classes before i student teach in the fall. i'm nervous. i'm excited. can i really do this? i had a moment of panic the other day when i started thinking about everything. praxis 2, lesson plans, cooperating teachers, QPA, interviews. i know i'm getting ahead of myself, but these things are on my mind right now.

i'm doing a literacy training class this semester and i'm really looking forward to it. i will be tutoring someone (an adult) that is just learning to read. last semester, some people tutored people at the jail. this will be the most worthwhile thing that i've done since i've been in school. i can't wait! and dr. m is the professor. :)

tomorrow i think we're going to look for a new pool table. for our dining room. how do i feel about this? i really don't know. but on the good side, i think we will also go to the mall. a large mall where much shopping can be done. my stepdaughter (14 yrs. old) told me that we need to do some girl stuff. :) it will be fun.

i'm off for now. good night. xo

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