2006-01-10 - 12:24 a.m.
my stepson has a friend who is funny and loves movies. he brought over 'shout it out'. it's a great movie game and i haven't laughed so hard in months. i'm very grateful for this. this poor kid doesn't have a very happy home life and we welcome him at our house any time. also, my stepson and i just talked for an hour and it was really good. he struggles with things, and i felt really glad to know what he was feeling. i feel much better. who knew it would come from teenagers!
my stepson is very bright and perceptive and he just needs someone to listen. his mom doesn't respect him because he is a teenager. he deserves respect. he handles things very responsibly and he has a lot of important things to say. it makes me upset that his mom (the evil ice queen) doesn't want to listen to him because he's young. and her husband (the fat bastard) is an asshole. he actually threatened to hit my stepson. no, no, no. this is not acceptable at all. and my stepson says, "if they want to play the game, i hold the ace." he sure does. if he doesn't want to go and visit them anymore, he has every right not to go. and his sister, ae, doesn't want to go there either. does their mother even realize what she is doing? they don't want to see her. it is because of the way she treats them. ae is very emotional, but she is right on in the way that she feels. my stepson, mw, and ae did not have a good weekend there. aa on the other hand is still fine with visiting. she is twelve and she just wants to love her mom. i want all the kids to do this, but it is harder for the other two. they see how she treats them and they hate it. i don't blame them. all they want is a happy time with their mom and she is totally not able to have a good time with them. she wants to tell them all the things they do wrong as children. and yes, sometimes they get on my nerves, but they are amazing and smart children and they have worthwhile things to say. why doesn't she see that in them? she prefers to act as if nothing is wrong or that it is them who are disrespecting her. she has no idea. and her stupid fat asshole of a husband....he always sticks his nose in like he is the one who knows what is going on. he is an idiot. he tells the children that they should respect their mother, blah, blah, blah. they should, but she has no respect for her children. she would prefer to tell them all the things that they do wrong. it really makes me mad. she continues to have an affect on "my" family all the time. every time they have to go there, she has an influence on them. i do want them to love their mom and have a relationship with her, but she just breaks them down at every moment. they have been broken over and over. she has told mw that she hates him and that he's ruined her life. how could you tell that to your son? she will not listen to anything they have to say because they "are children" and she can't listen to them because they have "nothing valuable to say." what kind of shit is this? her stupid husband (again, the fat bastard) told mw that he doesn't contribute to society so he has nothing to say. WHAT? he's sixteen years old and damn it, he's smart and does have a lot to contribute. if any of you have watched the crisis with the miners in west virginia it's no doubt that you have seen interviews with idiots from the state. this is where the fat bastard is from. he runs his mouth constantly and acts like he has knowledge about how to deal with people. he really is an asshole. he started dating the ice queen while he was still married. his wife wondered why he wasn't coming home. she found him at church with the evil ice queen. and do you know what the evil ice queen told the kids? my husband's children? that it was a friend of "hers". she left church out of the pew where the fat bastard's wife came and sat down. they have lied to those children since the beginning of their ridiculous relationship. the fat bastard's wife was just wondering why her husband was not coming home. well, she found out. it was the evil ice queen. the fat bastard's daughters have nothing to do with him. he has two granddaughters that he does not see. he convinces himself that it is not because he is a bastard, but because of something that his daughter feels. really, the fat bastard and the ice queen are oblivious. they don't understand that what they do hurts people, especially the ice queen's children. (and my husband's children) neither ae or mw wants to go to her house this weekend. how can i blame them? why should they want to go? and do you know, she (the evil ice queen) actually says to them, "i have a court order". she is an idiot. mw will be 18 next year. does she really think that the way she is acting is acceptable and that he will want to come and visit when he is not "required"? these poor kids. they all need to be in counseling; it would really benefit them. and i feel like "poor me" all the time. really, isn't it poor them? these kids have had to deal with this stuff for a long time. i really should focus on helping and loving them. they really need it. and tonight's conversation with my stepson really made me see it. a sixteen, fourteen and twelve year old. they just need love and compassion and someone that listens to them. i really feel like i should be the one. i love them, and i want to be there for them. like i said, there are things about them that do annoy me, but are those things really worth making myself angry about? i'm thinking no. and maybe i can be the one that they can depend on or at least be able to talk to. it isn't their mom and my hubby is busy a lot. i have always been a good listener. and i will put aside my petty boo-hooing to help these kids. they need it and i just may be the one to love them and listen to them. in my earlier entry, i just talked about how unhappy is was. now, i really think it is different. even though s and i aren't really getting along that well, i will be there for his children. they need it. and i think i do too. i have loved them for nearly six years and i will not stop now. they need love and so do i.
