can christmas really be over this quickly? it's amazing. we're staying home for new year's this year. quite a difference from being in nyc last year.

i've been quite sick for the past couple weeks. allergies mixed with some sort of flu. it's been very unpleasant. i cough constantly and my chest is wheezing. i feel like i'm ninety years old right now. the coughing has made me exhausted. i just want to sleep all the time but every time i lay down...more coughing.

we have gotten a new car and a new cat since the last update. the car is grey and the cat is orange. both are quite nice. the cat is very cuddly which i like...except for those damn little needle-like claws! those will be gone soon thankfully. the car is a scion and i really love it. it looks exactly like the type of cars i used to draw when i was four or five. maybe that's why i like it so much!

things are about the same at home. i don't even know how i feel. i mostly feel nothing which bothers me the most. i wish i could say more, but i can't seem to put my feelings into words right now.

i had to go to my grandmother's funeral on tuesday. we haven't been close for several years, but i really wanted to be there. my dad is having a really difficult time with it. he doesn't deal well with death at all. i got to see cousins that i haven't seen in years. it's unfortunate that i had to see them that way, but i'm really glad i got to spend time with them. when i saw my cousin jim, i cried. it's been so long. i miss family. or maybe i just miss being loved. any kind of love. i don't know. i think being sick has messed up my brain.

hope all of your christmases were wonderful. take care and have a safe new year celebration! i'll have a drink for you. :)

love
xo

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